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what life looks like
Last night I listened in to our school district meeting where the board was trying to decide what schools are going to look like in the Fall. After about 4 hours of back and forth, I turned it off with the take-away that no one knows what the hell to do. We’ve been bombarded by information from every angle, taking space on our social media, emails, TV and conversations. The narrative and guidance keeps changing, with families having to decide for themselves what is acceptable and what is not. Do you stay inside? Bubble with another family? Eat inside a restaurant? Here’s my advice: Trust. Your. Gut. That’s right. Don’t…
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In the thick of it
The other day I was at my daughter’s swim school, watching her dive underwater to retrieve a ring from the bottom of the pool. She’s in the “big kids class” which means no parent is in the pool with her. I gaze down at my now 10 month old son, while I feed him a bottle as he watches her sister’s every move. My mind tries to be present for both. Cheering for my daughter as she looks right at me after back floats and keeping the bottle still while my son’s head follows her at the same time. An older woman passes me on the way to the lobby,…
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the one that’s hard to write
It’s taken me a while to write this post, mostly because I wasn’t sure if I even wanted to write it. But as a writer, this is how we heal. Writing, in a weird sense, gives permission to move forward. So here I am, writing this post, in a place where moving forward seems hopeful and happy. Postpartum depression is a real thing, happening to around 3 million moms each year, some may even be reading this right now. When my son was born, I found myself in unknown territory that went beyond the baby blues. The feelings of being inadequate, hopeless, sad, resentful and even selfish overwhelmed my already…
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the sound of silence
Newborn. Toddler. Dog. Husband. Right now all 4 are sleeping, taking naps to re-charge for the rest of the day (except my dog, that’s all she does these days). I’m on my keyboard, that being the only sound aside from the snores of my beagle and the air conditioner. I miss this silence. When things are quiet and I can actually sit with my own thoughts, embracing and soaking in the stillness. It doesn’t last long. At this particular time we are maneuvering the demands of a toddler and the needs of a newborn. Both happening at the same time, and both carrying the same amount of importance and priority.…
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Welcome to the world
There is something to be said about being able to plan your baby’s birth, even if you only get 24 hours. Dylan was welcomed into this world as an early arrival on a Sunday morning, making today a week since we completed our family with a beautiful baby boy! It’s a known thing that I am not great at being pregnant, my body doesn’t like to play host, (which come to think about it, neither do I, a sign maybe?) and my placenta likes to give out after about 35 weeks. So when I started to feel sick again and went to my doctor for the normal checkup, I was…
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pregnant with a toddler- the struggle is real
I know pregnancy makes you tired, especially in the last month, but I was not prepared for how tired I’d feel this time around. My daughter had issues with me as her nutrition host and was a tiny, pre-term 3 lb. baby who just made me sick all the way up to delivery. But I could take a nap on demand (when I wasn’t nauseous), and plan her arrival calmly. This time is so different. While in hindsight I appreciate the fact that my daughter kept me just distracted enough to not have the luxury of feeling sick all day (the DayQuil commercials come to mind when the mom goes…
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baby thoughts: lessons for our little boy
I did a lessons for our girl when Liv was still hanging out in my tummy, so it was only appropriate to do a lessons for our little boy the second time around. With a baby boy it’s different. My focus on our little boy is to be a kind human being that is respectful and knows how to treat a lady. There is something different when I think about the fact that Justin and I are going to be raising a little boy who will someday become a man. While I desperately wanted Liv not to be a bratty kid, with a boy I want desperately for him to…
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it’s really happening (baby #2): 3rd trimester
Home stretch! Jesus I can’t believe I’m starting my 3rd trimester. At the latest, in 11 weeks we’ll be welcoming a new baby into the world. A little brother for Liv, a son for Justin and another baby to keep this crazy family of ours interesting and full of love. It’s all incredibly overwhelming, but keeping a list of shit that needs to get done before that time comes has actually helped. Lord help us. Oh, and this is an accurate picture of what my bladder feels like 24/7. Even if I JUST pee’d 5 seconds ago. Here’s how I’m doing this time around: 1. How big is the baby?…
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baby thoughts: fear of the unknown
I’m halfway through this pregnancy, which means that in 4.5 months we’ll be welcoming a little boy into our family. At first, the fear of the unknown set in hard. Not knowing what I was going to do with a boy, how my relationship with my little one will develop, and how I was going to handle the moving parts of a family of four were overwhelming. I think about those moments when days flow so gracefully when it’s just her and I. Then I think about how that same day would be while also having a newborn. And fear sets in. As the predicted due date approaches faster and…
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it’s really happening (baby #2)
Alright, at 21 weeks and halfway through this thing. In a couple of months we’ll be knee deep in diaper changes, late night feedings and being parents of a newborn again. I’m wrapping my head around the logistics of bringing another baby into the world, and as I hang out with my little one and rock her to sleep while my obvious pregnant belly is getting bigger and bigger, I’m reminded to savor those precious moments of us as a twosome. Here’s how I’m doing this time around: 1. How big is the baby? Baby is the size of baseball hat or a baby bok choy. He’s super active and…
