it’s always been there

I knew it all along and didn’t realize it.

I remember growing up I had a journal. A place where I could write down anything and everything that was on my mind. At the time, it was filled with ideas of marriage with Leonardo DiCaprio or Jonathan Taylor Thomas. I even cut out heart shapes from pictures I would see in BOP! Magazine. It was my escape from boring reality. From not being the “cool kid” or “pretty girl” in school. I would write about my school crushes that I didn’t have the guts to talk about in person to other people and how I felt about a fight with my parents (because I wouldn’t do my homework) or sisters (because they were getting all the attention).

I have never been one to have a lot of friends, and the label “introvert” was put on me at a very early age. Even to this day I haven’t outgrown it. I’m more comfortable putting my thoughts on paper (yes, I still brainstorm with a pen and pad of paper) and as technology grew, on a computer to share with the world-wide web.

I’m comfortable in this space.

After attending Women get Social this weekend and hearing Fawn Weaver speak, I realized I was a writer from the beginning. Putting words together not only comes easy, but it brings me joy. I’ve been doing this forever.

Reading articles in consumer and trade publications seemed like the dream job, but a job I couldn’t possibly have. “I can’t do that”, I would tell myself, blaming it on lack of connections and experience. Since then I’ve written for brand blogs and trade magazines, as well as this blog here (which I’m quite fond of).

This morning I woke up anxious. So many thoughts were running through my head that I couldn’t wait to put together. I couldn’t walk fast enough to the coffee shop (caffeine first and nobody gets hurt). This is where I am meant to be.

I knew it all along.