the sound of silence

Newborn. Toddler. Dog. Husband. Right now all 4 are sleeping, taking naps to re-charge for the rest of the day (except my dog, that’s all she does these days).

I’m on my keyboard, that being the only sound aside from the snores of my beagle and the air conditioner. I miss this silence. When things are quiet and I can actually sit with my own thoughts, embracing and soaking in the stillness. It doesn’t last long.

At this particular time we are maneuvering the demands of a toddler and the needs of a newborn. Both happening at the same time, and both carrying the same amount of importance and priority. My husband’s paternity leave is ending this weekend and on Monday it’s me + the kids. God help me. Oh, and did I mention we decided to potty train my toddler this weekend? Yeah, we’re doing that too. Cue head shake.

If someone should ask how I’m doing, I would say its complicated. With a moderate case of postpartum depression, missing my family and juggling to find my new normal come Monday, I would say I’m a *little* overwhelmed.

The real reality sets in when the dust settles and everyone goes back to their before-baby routine. Family goes back home, husband goes back to work, and just like that it’s just you and the kiddos trying to figure out how to get through the day. As a stay at home mom, Monday is staring at me with a “so what are you going to do?” look.

I’ve got no choice but to figure it out. It was daunting how me + new baby were going to get into a groove, and we figured it out. Me + toddler + new baby will also figure it out. It’ll be different, but eventually (after much trial and error), we’ll find our groove. To all the mamas out there freaking out about the same thing, trying to wrap their heads around how they are going to get through the day, believe me when I say it’ll happen. At the end of the day, we have no choice but to make it work, and we will.

In the meantime, I’m just going to sit here. Basking in the silence. Before the chaos commences once again.